This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
