How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
