Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
