This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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