Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
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