didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
What did we do last night that was yellow?
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
