yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
Randomize
