Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
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