i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
