Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
