8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
