Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
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