whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
