Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
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