What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
