he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
this will be a night to untag.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
