btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
