Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
