i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
