At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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