Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
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