I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
We talked him into tasing himself.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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