So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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