im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
