Are we in a gay sports bar?
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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