My nipple is on Facebook.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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