kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I'm both gender and math confused
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
