So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
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