i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Randomize
