We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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