Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
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