i was born a porn star she said
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
she looked like the before picture.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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