Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Randomize
