I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
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