I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
