guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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