i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Randomize
