dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Randomize
