He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Randomize
