A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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