There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
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