I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
