Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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