Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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