why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Randomize
