Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
