is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
