Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Randomize
