I wannas sexs uuuuu
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
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