Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
