grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
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