You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
