my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
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