i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
